For Halloween, my brother was a marvelous Corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H (huge fan), my sister was a girl in her pajamas, and I was Stephen Colbert, of The Colbert Report.
I got a suit and skirt at the Goodwill, slicked my hair back with mousse and lots of Aquanet, put on a tie and my Dad's glasses, and looked like a pretty respectable Stephen. I made myself a desk; it was a piece of cardboard, with a long piece of cloth that went around my neck, to the corners of the desk. On my desk, I kept a paper and rested my plastic mug, on which I had written "The Colbert Report".
My paper was a list of things that were "On Notice", and "Dead to Me", and also a list of handy quotes, such as, "That's why I continue to say that Oregon is California's Canada," or, "The truthiness will set you free!" My favourite: "Anyone can read the news to you. What I plan to do is feel the news at you."
Of course, on Halloween, it poured. Luckily, I was wearing my lucky galoshes, so my feet were dry, and it was warm, so we weren't freezing. But, the way my hair started to wave, all the Aquanet was streaming into my mouth -- yuck! And there's Cruce, posing so suavely next to me....
My costume got varying reactions. Most knew of Stephen Colbert, and I even got a few cheers; I met a few fellow members of the Colbert Nation. But, I also got a few guesses at my costume being a businessman, which I mostly let slide.
I didn't really mind. One thing I did mind, was being mistaken for, of all things, a homeless man. I guess I can't blame the guy: I was soaked, and took responsibility for carrying my once-desk. I was also asking for candy in my make-shift "Colbert Report" mug, which I now use all the time.
All in all, it was a good Halloween, but I might now have to be Colbert for Halloween, every year. And I don't know if my brother can ever top Klinger.
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